Hello, curious browsers and potential new members.
ToyboyWarehouse.com is a sexy, fun, intelligent dating community for women looking for younger men and men seeking older women.
In the past few years more and more female celebrities have found younger boyfriends, and the word ‘cougar’, used to describe a woman who dates younger men, has come into common usage. However I felt that the media presents the older woman/younger man dynamic as polarised and is therefore possibly alienating for a lot of women. On the one hand you have the 0.001% of women: the glamorous film and pop stars who we can all admire from afar, and on the other the trashy, over sexualised image of women with the ‘cougar’ label, who are often portrayed as sexual predators.
What I saw was something in between. Dynamic, intelligent women who were financially independent and could take care of their own security. They were making different choices from their mothers and going for men who made them feel great, and not necessarily those with the financial means to fund their lifestyles, as they could do that for themselves.
The older woman/younger man dynamic tends to be about fun and attraction (as opposed to the older man/younger woman relationship which tends to be about power and money) so, ToyBoy Warehouse is a sexy, fun and intelligent dating, community, but it’s not a sex site (guys, please don’t think that because she’s older she’s desperate!)
We believe that relationships develop where there is connection, chemistry and an element of something or someone challenging – we call this the three Cs. As one 40 year old successful, intelligent man said
“I couldn’t be with a younger woman; I’d trample all over her. I need an older woman to challenge me.” So there’s no upper age limit to being a toyboy, you just have to be younger than the woman you’re with.
So why did I call it toyboywarehouse? Shouldn’t I have named it something more serious? ToyBoy Warehouse is a name you remember because it’s funny and playful. My view is that playfulness is the core of the older woman/younger man relationship and if two people are clever they are able to keep that playfulness throughout the relationship. Women have discarded their lengthy tick box lists and have stopped trying to mould a man into some perceived ideal, and young men crave the confidence and experience that only years can give a woman.
We at TBW HQ believe that opposites can co-exist and you can be playful and yet sometimes serious, silly and and yet sometimes sensible and that most good things grow in the fertile ground of playfulness.
Here are the best two quotes that I can find to explain it.
Why women like a younger man:
“I don’t know why but since my last boyfriend who was only three years younger than me, I prefer younger men. Why? Oh I don’t know, because they’re fresh, young, excitable, not yet jaded by life or women and they have so much stamina and enthusiasm, it would be a shame for them to waste it on some young thing that has no idea what she’s doing.”
Why men like an older woman:
“Nothing beats the conversation of a woman with the confidence to laugh at herself while piquing you to the point of jealousy with the depth of her sexual experience. Where has she been, the older woman? What has she done? Who else has pinched her; where? No younger woman can light these fires of curiosity. In the amused lines around the older woman’s eyes you read the questions that never will be answered. There’s the excitement. There’s the challenge. There’s the sting that makes us happy.”
Julia Macmillan, TBW founder
Should age be a factor in modern dating?
When younger guys find us desirable, should we all out go for it, or should we be hemmed in by 'convention'? Is the rise in women and younger men relationships in the public eye enough to break the taboos that have beset us?
These are questions that cross the minds of not only the women involved, but across society at large.
What fuels these 'taboos' and restrictions then? Some are valid; some are myths. However, as to which is which, I shall leave that up to the reader to decide.
1. Younger men like to prey on older women because they see them as desperate and therefore willing to put up with any kind of behaviour just to have their attention.
2. Younger men see older women only as sexual teachers. This may well be the case with 18 year olds, but once a guy hits his early to mid twenties, and especially his thirties, it could generally be the other way around - in that he then can show the woman a few tricks.
3. Younger men want to be 'kept'; either by one woman, or by several, and in the case of the latter scenario, they would be referred to as gigolos.
4. Younger men want sugar-mamas, and/ or to scam as many women out of their money and valuables as possible.
5. A woman cannot seek a younger man without it being predatory.
OK - these are all the negatives. These are what cause women to fear what a younger man could possibly want with them, or to fear how they would be judged by society, because they assume that's the way society thinks.
But, all of the above points could equally be applied to older men when it comes to relationships with women of any age.
So, let's shove the negatives right out of the way and concentrate on some positive factors.
1. It is very possible for a woman to have a wonderful relationship with a younger man, and for it to last.
2. Age is not a factor and nor is it wrong to date someone older or younger if it is right for you.
3. Past social norms should not have any bearing on a relationship. Societal paradigms shift all the time.
4. Women are freer to choose what they want in life, and this means choosing to date someone younger.
5. Freer women do not need or seek men to complete them and are instead looking for men to compliment them, and vice versa.
6. When a woman wants a younger man, she wants him for who he is, not for what he does.
Regardless of age, every couple:
- Must have things in common
- Must be compatible mentality and physically
If you date or marry for the right reasons, you will have just as much chance at relational success as is in any other relationship.
Hi, This was really just a message to say thankyou so much for your brilliant website.I spent many evenings chatting and joking with potential love interests and in June of this year after only a couple of weeks met a truly lovely guy online. We decided to meet up not long after chatting , he was on your hotlist that month and won a few more weeks free subscription with Toyboy and we met during that time.We are still together, deleriously happy and now madly in love. If thats not unusual for me in such a short time, the fact that he is 25 years old and I am a very young 54 year old is perhaps a little more unusual !!! Once again thankyou for such an great dating site.I have been meaning to make contact to let you know what a great time I had when I used the site originally back in August 2007! I was a member for about 18 months and met some lovely people, had some great date and really enjoyed the parties you organised. However, I did meet someone from the site back in January 2009 and we recently moved in together so I guess its time to officially resign! I would just like to say a big thank you to Julia for setting up a great site and it was lovely to meet her at the parties.
I have recommended the site to friends and always offer glowing reports!"Girls, second date turned out to be a dreamboat and I'm so grateful to your encouragement and I couldn't be happier.
His user name is ****** and he's not active on it anymore - obviously, why would he want to be now!! and I'm just going to suspend mine. I heard you were on the Today Programme on thursday, but I went onto Iplayer and couldn't find it.
I also enjoyed hearing your piece on Woman's Hour."I'd given up on dating sites, I'd tried them all.... POF, girls date for free etc.... I liked younger men and I'd seen someone recommend your site, I think it was on someone's blog... Anyway I joined, I had 2 dates, both ok, nothing that was gonna go further, then I was gonna come off the site for a while. Just as I'd decided to do this I got a wink from a new member, he only had 2 views to his profile, we got talking and we met 4 days later, then immediately come off your site. Amazingly 3 months later we are living together... We haven't spent 1 night apart since the first date! I'm 44 and Dave is 30, his friends and family say it's the happiest they've ever seen him and I have to say I'm the same...it's been like a dream really, we are going to get married next year too.... He is so handsome I don't know how I've managed it, but anyway I wanted to let you know your site was brilliant, it worked for me anyhow :)
"Hi, I wish to finish my membership with Toyboywarehouse but not for negative reasons. I met a guy from TBW and we have now been seeing each other 5 nights a week for almost 3 months! We both believe that we have found love and would like to thank TBW for having introduced us. My membership runs out at the end of February 2011. thanks again TBW. It really does work, if women would only have an open mind when meeting some of the guys off there.""Just to say I concur with EVERYTHING Wendy said in her congratulatory note!! There's a lot of women out there, including me, who have YOU to thank for bringing these toyboys into our lives. There's no looking back, it just gets better and better!
I laughed out loud at Wendy's invective, she has such a way with words and it's all so true.
Thanks again Julia, well done and good luck with the future of TBW.""I have met the most lovely person through your website !!! Thank you so much - it is early days but the signs are very good - maybe if it works out we can be an advert for you in the future - we seem to be perfect for each other - he is 33 and I am 49 - I think your website is brilliant.""TBW has been fabulous for me. It really did change my life. I went from being a bored, isolated divorcee who had no idea how to meet guys to a sexually charged older woman having lots of exciting dates with interesting young men - and some of them were incredibly handsome and sexy (if rather hopeless). Long may it keep going and radically change the lives of other women (and younger men)!
Thanks for everything, and best of luck with life at the helm of the best dating website on the internet!"
Just want to say.. I've tried one or two dating sites in my time but I've never had quite such as positive experience as this one! Not only, because I've been swamped by messages and complements from really hot boys but also because the site is simple, user friendly and effective. The format works a treat.. keep up the good work!
I was on your site for 2 -3 years. Went on dates, met some amazing guys. But now met my partner who was also a member on your website. We connected through TBW - we have been together for just over a year and are expecting our first child. Planning to get married and are very happy.